


Roman Sanders Angsty One Shots :)

by Shade637



Series: Sanders Sides Fics~ [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: But Like Not Much, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Heavy Angst, Includes my oc Shade, M/M, Some Fluff, Woooohoooo!, at least i don't this so.., he's insecurities so like that's fun, idfk honestly, yeaaaaah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-01-29 18:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21414823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shade637/pseuds/Shade637
Summary: it's not all angst. But like.. that's what it mostly is..
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, The LAMP tag took way too long to find dammit...
Series: Sanders Sides Fics~ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1543762
Comments: 2879
Kudos: 65





	1. A Breakdown

Roman was not okay, not in the slightest. It was a miracle Thomas wasn't affected by his constant self deprecation and insecurities. 

Every once in awhile he would find himself debating on ducking out, but he would shake it off, consoling himself in the fact that Thomas needed him to keep Remus at bay. But of course, it was only a matter of time before he couldn't do that either.

Overall, Roman just needed a hug.

But of course, that's just backround.

Our story starts at noon, and while Patton and Logan are out on a date, our resident Prince is having some... difficulty coming up with a good idea for their next video.

Roman paced around his room, chewing on his pen as he stared at the words on the page he was holding.

"Ideas for Next Video"

...that was it.

He couldn't get out of this seemingly neverending cycle of creative block and self deprecation.

So with every step he took, he got closer and closer to breaking down, and with every step he took the whisper of a certain dark side grew louder.

Shade Insecurities Sanders always seemed to hit Roman right where it hurt.

Using his doubt against him, Shade was constantly gnawing at him. Normally it was a quiet whisper every once in a while. 

But times like this, where he was shaking and his brain couldn't seem to focus.

Times like this the once quiet whisper turned into a ear splitting yell.

Roman was right on the brink of a breakdown, when a knock on his door made him yelp, scaring him out of his downward spiral.

"Ro? You okay in there? You've been pacing back and forth for an hour now.." Virgil's voice came from the other side of the door, cautious. Roman had forgotten that his room was right above the living room, meaning Virgil could hear him pace from downstairs..

"Yes Ebony, I'm completely fine! Just brainstorming!" He called, hoping his voice didn't betray the tears running down his face, or the sob that was threatening to leave him.

There was silence for a good while, and Roman was forced to bit his lip rather hard as to not let out that pesky sob.

"..I'm coming in Princey" Virgil finally called, moving to open the door.

No! 

No no no no!! Anything but that! Roman could keep his voice from shaking sure, but there were already tears on his face and he was barely keeping back a sob!

He turned towards his desk quickly, facing away from the door that was slowly (and cautiously, Roman noticed) opening.

If Virgil witnessed one of his breakdowns what would he think?! He would surely think less of Roman! He would shun him in favor of a real prince, a prince that didn't succumb to the agonizing whispers Shade sent them, a prince that didn't cry over a simple creative block, a prince that wasn't so goddamn-!

"-rincey? Ro!" Roman jumped a bit, involuntarily letting out a quiet yelp at the sudden intrusion to his stream of thought.

(He briefly thought of his brother, and that caused a brief shudder to go through him)

"Roman I asked a question.." Virgil stated, sounding oddly... worried?

Roman hesitated before speaking, willing himself not to stutter, and his voice not to shake.

"Sorry, what was the question?" He asked quietly, the only way to ensure his voice stayed steady.

"I asked if you were okay" Virgil said softly. Roman felt Virgil's presence move closer, and he involuntarily tensed.

"I'm fine. Really, truly, sincerely, fin-" he started, somewhat frantically,

"Lying is Deceit's thing" Virgil cut in, sounding soft yet insistent.

That shut Roman up.

Lying..?

He wasn't lying, was he? 

No! He was just... 

Acting! Exactly! He was acting as if he was in perfect shape when.. he.. wasn't...?

He..

He was lying..

If Patton found out he was lying he would be so disappointed... he would surely hate him for lying so much and so often about his state of well being! He-

"Roman. You're spacing" a soft voice and a gentle hand on his shoulder brought him out of his second downward spiral.

Virgil slowly turned Roman around to face him, but the shorter was insistent on keeping his head down.

"Ro... it's just us. I promise I'll listen to you and I won't judge. Please tell me what's wrong.. I'm worried.." Virgil said sincerely.

Roman hesitantly looked up at him, tear filled ruby eyes met with concerned filled violet ones.

Roman searched his face for any hint of sarcasm.. lies.. some cruel joke.. but there was none. Just sincere concern, and... love.

Love.

As soon as the realization hit him, he collapsed, finally breaking down and sobbing his heart out.

Virgil loved him.

He was loved.

He no longer had to worry about whether or not his love was requited, because it was. And god did that feel good..

But of course, there was still turmoil inside the prince's mind, and that needed sorted out before it became too much.

Virgil held him tightly, quietly running his fingers through the Prince's hair, as he sobbed into his hoodie.

"I'm.. I'm trying I really am" Roman mumbled through sobs, Virgil was about to ask what he meant but before he could, Roman continued muttering to himself,

"N..no..no one appreciates how.. how h..hard I work.. How much I w..work myself to get out a g..good idea! I..I sound selfish and I..I'm sorry, I just.. I just feel so desperate!" Virgil's heart broke at Roman's shaky and pain filled voice.

"I just want Thomas to f..follow his dreams! a..and th..the..then when I try to do s..so I get yelled at for d..doing my job! And for w..wanting Thomas to actually e..enjoy himself!" Roman exclaimed, his sobs picking back up after his small rant. 

Virgil knew he was talking about the callback vs. wedding ordeal, how Patton (and himself, he admitted) had shut down both Deceit and Roman, in wanting to go to the callback instead of doing the "right thing" and go to the wedding.

He understood, not fully, but enough to know why he was crying so harshly. Virgil kept himself silent though, knowing speaking to him while he was sobbing violently wouldn't work in the long run.

"Not... not to mention the.. the whole ordeal w..with Remus! He.. he shows up and.. and knocks me out! Just proving to Thomas how-!" He choked up. Gripping onto Virgil tighter, as he sobbed out the words that broke Virgil's heart. "J..just how w..worthless I am"

After that, his sobs drowned out any words he tried to utter. Virgil kept murmuring sweet words in his ear, trying not to think about the Prince's words, and what they meant.

After a good while of loud sobbing and quiet mumbles to himself, Roman had almost completely calmed down.

"Roman. I'm going to say this now, and probably a million times over in the future, but I... I love you. I love you so much it hurts, especially when I see you like this" Roman frowned at Virgil's words. He was hurting him? He would have to keep himself from-

"And don't you dare start in that pretty little head of yours about how you can't let me see you breakdown, because you can. In fact I want you to come to me with everything, I want to be your rock, Roman"

Roman blushed at the compliment and sniffled, clinging tighter to Virgil. Though he still stayed silent.

"I want you to know you can come to me with anything and everything, just like I know I can come to you" Virgil pressed a soft kiss to the top of Roman's head, causing the smaller to smile a bit,

"I love you so much Princey. Just ask Logan and Patton if you want proof" Virgil laughed, albeit it a bit nervously.

Roman felt himself relax, Shade's voice going back to an almost silent whisper as his mood lifted, just a bit.

"I love you too..." Roman mumbled, cuddling closer to Virgil, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"..And Virgil..?"

"Yeah Princey?" Virgil started running his hand through Roman's hair again, smiling like an idiot at the Prince's confession.

"Thanks.. for pulling me out of my thoughts.. and for this.." he nuzzled into Virgil's neck a bit more "I needed it.." he mumbled, a silent question nagging at him.

"It's my job as you're new boyfriend. So don't sweat it" Virgil smiled, knowing exactly what the vulnerable prince was wondering about.

Virgil picked Roman up and slowly moved to his bed, keeping him as close as possible as he settled them both in.

Virgil felt Roman's breathing even out quite quickly, the breakdown seemingly taking a lot out of him.

As Virgil watched the broken prince sleep, he silently vowed that he would do his absolute best to help Roman deal with the darkness lurking in his mind.

And once he was ready, he'd be right there when he told the others about it.


	2. Just to establish heights~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, now that I've gotten the original angst out of my system, I thought I'd establish some heights a lil bit!
> 
> (I'm contemplating whether or not to add Shade as a full fledged character or just keep him as a backround angst device, plz help in my decision making-) 
> 
> So let's get headcanons out there!

Logan is tallest. Like he's a giant. Sometimes Patton climbs onto his back and says he's summiting everest.

Deceit is next, he's only a few inches shorter then Logan. But of course this means that Remus is always on his back. Literally.

Then Virgil! In most fiction Virgil is like the shortest buuuuuut not here! He's the third tallest, and Roman kind of hates it, considering he's constantly calling Roman cute and tiny etc. Which causes him to go bright red, and Virgil loves that too much honestly-

(Thomas is the same height as Virgil, but like, I'm too lazy to write anything for Thomas rn, it's really early for me-)

And then..... Patton!! He's not tall by any means, but hey! At least he's not the shortest! Logan is constantly picking him up and carrying him around for shits and giggles.

And last, but not least. The Twins! Yep! Remus and Roman are the shortest! ...Fite me m8.

Remus loves being the shortest, because that means he can climb on anyone he wants, and get into small spaces and no one can find him! Well... except for Roman. Speaking of which....

Roman (most of the time) hates being the shortest, all of the other sides are constantly ruffling his hair, using him as an armrest, basically teasing him for his height. The only time he likes being short, is when Virgil and him cuddle, and it's like he's being engulfed in a hug and it's the best feeling in the world. (And also when he has to get Remus out of a tiny space, makes him feel special/needed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👌💜👌💞👌❤👌❣👌💖👌💓👌💕👌💛👌💝👌🧡👌♥️👌🖤👌
> 
> (Also the twins are the longest sections here cuz like I'm prone to pick favorites I'm sorry-)


	3. Confession Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so.. this one is the confession scene from a dull length fanfic I have yet to write. So here ya go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so like, in this human au, Roman is a wanted criminal and Virgil is the best detective in the state. Virgil finally captures Roman after years of chasing, and tries to take him in, but he can't get a hold of the station, so now he's stuck with Roman until he can get through to the other officers. In the four months they've been stuck together, their feelings seem to have grown from hatred, to something more... abstract.
> 
> (Also fair warning, there is a sexual innuendo in the beginning, but for the most part it's fine)
> 
> (And also there may be some hinting at a not so great past, so like, be wary)

Roman watched the detective move around his office, studying papers and pinning things to his corkboard.

He couldn't help but smile, seeing Virgil engrossed in his work was always a nice sight.

Roman had to admit, in the four months of living with Virgil Black, he learned he wasn't as uptight as he first thought..

In fact, Virgil was just worried...

And protective..

Cautious...

Intriguing...

Attractive~

WoAh! wOaH! woAh!

StOp!!

Attractive?

Virgil finally sat down across from Roman at his desk, scribbling notes as he mumbled to himself.

Roman watched with a red face.

Watched as his nose seemed to twitch every once in a while, how his hand held the pen with an iron grip while writing.

He couldn't help but wonder how that grip would feel on his-

Roman sat bolt upright. 

Those thoughts were not okay!?

It took him a few seconds to realize Virgil had abandoned the notes in favor of gazing at him with a concerned stare.

"You okay Ro?" He asked, as Roman sat back again.

"Yeah... I just uhm, zoned out and surprised myself, heh" as he said the half truth, he relished in the soft look Virgil was giving him.

The look reserved for helping small children, or Patton and Logan when they came over on a bad day.

That look was given to him.

Virgil nodded, "alright... why don't you take some nyquil and take a nap. I know how you are when your thoughts race"

So sweet..

"That's actually a good idea.." Roman stood and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to will away his blush. "But wait.. why do I need the nyquil?"

"If your thoughts are racing there's no way you'll get them to slow down enough to sleep. The nyquil will do that for you" Virgil smiled softly at Roman, a look that said, you should know that, but you're cute so you have an excuse.

So considerate...

Roman felt his blush rage again as he nodded.

"Right, sorry, I forgot.." he mumbled, trying to look away from the smile that made his heart flutter. Virgil laughed a bit, causing that heart of his to skip a beat.

"Go take a nap Ro. If I need you I'll come get you" Virgil said, as he walked over to Roman and gently led him out the door.

Roman felt like mush as Virgil's touch sent shockwaves through him. He gently led him out the door, hand brushing his waist a bit.

Unknowingly flirtatious...

Virgil spun Roman around to face him when he was out the door.

"And uhm, Roman?" Virgil asked, an almost invisible blush covering the other's cheeks.

Cute too..!?

"Yeah..?" It was a miracle his voice didn't crack or shake from the intensity of his flusteredness.

Virgil seemed to take a breath, before leaning in closer..

Cupping his cheek..

closer...

Tilting his head back to just the right angle..

closer...

Noses touching...

Roman's eyes had long since fluttered shut, and he shivered as he felt Virgil's lips brush over his, speaking softly

"I've been feeling this for a while now.." he whispered, and slowly pressed his lips to Roman's.

A soft hazy feeling fell over Roman, this was unlike any kiss he had ever shared. It had always been rough and quick, fueled by power and lust.

But now...

Now it was soft and slow, filled with admiration, and thinly veiled desire.

Roman barely registered that there were arms around his waist, and that he had two fistfuls of hoodie in his hands.

At least until Virgil pulled away.

Roman desperately chased those lips. Those soft, sweet lips, that brought him the feeling of warmth and security, the first time he had ever genuinely felt that.

Virgil snickered a bit, leaning back enough that Roman couldn't dive straight back in, but just enough to still be close to Roman.

"It goes against everything I've ever stood for, and it's so, so wrong. Especially considering my job.." Virgil mumbled, staring into Roman's ruby eyes as his thumb traced the shorter's cheekbone.

A sudden thought hit Roman when Virgil paused, was he talking about Roman? This was.. wrong..? This... this was wrong.

Virgil Black, an amazing detective, kissing Roman Kingsley, the most wanted criminal in the state!

"But even knowing that.. I can't help but wonder how holding you against me would feel, or kissing you senseless, or running my fingers through your hair, or..." he paused, tightening his hold around Roman's waist. "...just being with you... and now that I'm doing it.. it feels so fucking right.."

Roman tightened his grip on Virgil's hoodie as he was pulled against his chest, tucking his head under Virgil's chin.

Having strong arms touch him, normally put him on edge, because when you have strong arms that means you can hurt people easier. It means he could get hurt easier.

But with Virgil... that thought seemed so distant.. the only thing he could feel with those arms around him, was safe. He felt so warm.. and protected.. like nothing could ever harm him ever again..

"Roman... I.. I'm not good with heartfelt words but.." Virgil started, burying his face in Roman's hair. "I... I love you... and I promise I'll protect you from now on."

Roman went wide eyed, his racing thoughts skidding to a stop at those words.

"No more running, no more hiding. You're staying here with me, and as long as you do I promise, promise, you'll have a nice home-"

He bit his lip.

"-hot food-"

Tears threatened to spill.

"-a warm bed-"

Sobs clawed their way into his throat.

"-and someone who really, truly, loves you"

The sob finally left him, burying his face in Virgil's chest as he collapsed into loud sobbing and crying, shaking from the overwhelming feeling of love directed towards him.

Virgil fell to the ground with him, holding him close and rubbing his back, pressing soft kisses to the top of his head.

After enough reassurance, and a few soft pecks on the lips, Roman was calm again. Practically limp against the taller man, he mumbled three words, three words that he promised himself he would never utter ever again.

"I love you.."

But feeling the way Virgil tightened his grip on his waist, and the feel of his smile on his scalp...

"I love you too"

Maybe he could take a chance... just this once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I just realized how depressing that ended up being.
> 
> I apologize..


	4. Roman's note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhm... yeah
> 
> TW: Suicide (sort of), major character death (a little more than implied), suicide note (it's more of a goodbye note but I mean, it's obviously a suicide note-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for what your about to read. I actually cried while wring this.

Roman laid on his bed, mind numb, and limbs aching. He had just finished having a particularly bad breakdown, and he just wanted to sleep.

But if he slept, he'd just wake right up and have to live through the viscous cycle again, and again.

1\. Get up, get dressed, make self presentable.

2\. Put on show, be the prince everyone knows you as and expects you to be.

3\. Continue step two until nightfall.

4\. Nightfall hits. Breakdown. Sob. Hurt. Ache. Numb. (Occasionally cuddle with Virgil - though Roman always felt like a burden when he did-)

He felt an odd numbness in his thigh, so he sat up and noticed it slowly fading in and out of existence, mindscape existence of course, but existence nonetheless.

You'd expect the fanciful side to scream his high pitched scream, and call for the others and be absolutely terrified because, fading means death. He's **_dying_**.

...but he didn't.

He just stared blankly as his thigh continued to flicker.

He sighed softly and stood up, walking over to his writing desk.

Sure he was depressed, suicidal, and was currently emotionally numb.

But he was still Roman.

And if he was dying, there'd be a heartfelt note to go along with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Fam-ily,

I'm truly and deeply sorry you all had to find out this way. But as of late, I have been feeling... not so glittery. As you can probably tell considering this is my... fade letter... _yeah_. That's better than the alternative. Anyway, I have some things to say to all of you. (Yes. You too Dee. ...Remus as well)

Could you all, do me a favor and only read your part? It would make this so much easier..

**Patton **

Patton... you're probably sobbing. And you're probably the last to read this letter, and you're probably all worried and I'm so sorry for making you cry. I just... couldn't take it anymore.

When you saw Virgil was... _hurting_, you took it upon yourself to figure out what was wrong and help him get through it.

That's what I love about you Pat. You're always so kind...

I'm sorry in advance if I make you feel worse than you already do, my words are spilling out onto paper and i cant stop them...

When I saw how you took care of Virgil's scars and slowly helped him get over his _thoughts_, it... it kind of stung.

Not because Virgil was getting better!! You know I love him! And I want the best for him! but... seeing you so focused on making sure he was okay, and never checking on anyone else... I felt... I don't know... neglected? And it hurt. A lot. Especially since I was... _hurting_, too.

I'm honestly surprised you never saw through my act. I've been feeling absolutely horrible for a few years now... I guess it's just all finally catching up with me...

I'm truly, deeply, so, so sorry, Padre. Honestly just picturing you tearing up as you read this makes me feel horrible. <strike>(More horrible than normal I mean-)</strike>

I have nothing else to say... but... maybe this is for the best?

You were the bestest, most awesomest, dad ever! I love you! Keep smiling! <3

**Logan **

Logan.

Wow this is... harder to write than I thought it would be.

We've never seen eye to eye. And no I do not mean that height wise, I meant in a sense that we've never agreed. I'm aware I'm much shorter than you.

I'm honestly not sure how you will react to this...

Maybe some sniffling..?

Oh who am I kidding. You're probably just reading this with a blank look on your face. The faster I'm gone, the faster Thomas can be successful right? 

I just... I know I'll never hear the answer to this question... but... I still have to ask.

Do you hate me?

And if so, what did I do? Why do you always give me the cold shoulder? Again, in a sense that you push me away, I understand that you do not actually have a cold shoulder-, And brush away every single idea I've actually been happy with?

I've been trying so hard to make every. Single. Idea. _Perfect_. Just so I could get approval from you.

And yet every time I come to you with an idea you find something wrong with it.

I apologize for ranting. This was supposed to be a heartfelt goodbye...

<strike>Then again you never had a heart did you?</strike>

Bye Logan, I hope you and Patton are happy in your new relationship, and I truly hope that when you think back on me you'll think of good memories, not of all the... _many_... fights we've had.

Au revoir calculator watch~ (Take care of Pat, yeah? I know he's probably breaking down..)

** Deceit  **

We really only became friends recently. So there's not much to say when it comes to heartfelt goodbyes.

I'm sorry for calling you a scooby doo villain, and calling you a jerk, and all the mean names I've called you before.

You really are a nice guy. You just have to open up to people a bit more, yeah?

Try not to lie as much, and maybe keep some promises too?

I'm honestly just spitting out advice at this point...

I'm sorry you had to deal with me... but it's all over now. Me and my loud mouth will be out of your hair forever!

Oh! And Dee?

I am honored to be your first light side friend. :)

**Virgil **

Virgil... Ebony... Storm... Hot Topic... Virgie... I've been putting both you and Remus off for a while and I'm only writing this little paragraph and I'm already trying not to break down.

<strike>You were... </strike>

<strike>I felt... </strike>

<strike>We had.... </strike>

_ **Fuck. ** _

I'm so, so sorry!! You're probably breaking down just as bad, if not worse than Patton is and it hurts to picture you like that..

You were the only person I trusted enough to tell... everything.

My insecurities, my past, my brother, my weaknesses. I told you everything.

You were my rock, you were the person who held me when I was hurting, the person who helped me through all the stupid thoughts my brain supplied at three am, and you never got annoyed with me...

I love you more than words can express. And if I'm being completely honest I'm sobbing as I'm writing this.

You were the one who kept me sane, who kept my insecurities at bay, and kept me from going the extra step.

But then... you broke.

You revealed how hurt _you_ were, and I promised you that I would help you just as you had constantly helped me.

...and I promised myself I wouldn't burden you with my problems anymore.

Skip to three years later. You're not cutting anymore, you're happier than you've ever been, and you say Patton and I pulled you out of the gutter.

You have no idea how wonderful that made me feel.

Me, someone so broken and shattered, had (helped at least) fix you, someone equally, if not, more broken and shattered than me.

But then it started again.

I started acting. Acting like I was okay when really I wasn't, not in the slightest! I was sir-sing-a-lot on the outside, and sir-cry-a-lot on the inside. <strike>(That was a horrible line. See? I can't even get a heartfelt letter right..) </strike>

And I wanted, more badly than anything, to go to you and curl up in your lap and have you comfort me with your silky voice and loving touches. I wanted..

No..

I _needed_ you. So bad.

But i kept myself away. Because what if i said something and triggered your depression? What if I sent you back down into your depressive spiral?! I wouldn't be able to live with myself... <strike>(not that I can anyways.. obviously) </strike>

And today... i had a particularly bad breakdown. I feel... numb. (Of course I feel immense sadness as I'm writing this but before- sorry, ranting..)

No horrid thoughts are working their way into my head. It's comepletely clear. And that's what scares me.

Everything aches Virgil. My entire body hurts. And when I looked down and saw I was fading, I didn't even flinch. I just stood up and immediately started writing.

I'm... I'm ready...

Honestly, I've been ready for months now...

And now everything hurts, and I'm sobbing, and I hate myself for doing this to you which just makes me want to do it more!

If I was gone there would be no more worrying about me! And everyone would be calmer I bet! No dangerous adventures to the imagination, no imperfections <strike>(idea related or not)</strike>, and no dissapointment.

I'm so, so, so, so, sorry Ebony. Please forgive me?

~❤

**Remus **

....

You're ecstatic aren't you?

I'm finally gone.

You can finally take the role of creativity for yourself.

That's what you want isn't it?

Well I still wanna say some shit.

So... read it. <strike>(Was gonna write 'Listen' but I'm not speaking and- why am I ranting? You don't give a damn)</strike>

Remus, you're an asshole who doesn't seem to care about anyone but Dee. <strike>Which is cute and all but that's not what I'm writing about. </strike>

You're an asshole... but you're still my brother, and I still <strike>loved</strike> cared about you, even if you hated me, and even if I said some... questionable stuff. I still love you, you're still my twin, and I still wish you the best.

Even if you never cared for me, I did care for you, that I promise.

** Everyone can read now  **

I'm so sorry if I made any of you feel worse... <strike>(only I would worry about upsetting you all while writing something like this...) </strike>

I couldn't take it anymore, everything built up and now I'm fading. Quite fast now actually.

The scary part is... I'm not even worried... I'm kind of passive about it. I'm not even opposed to the idea...

I love all of you, so much, even if you didn't care for me.

And if you did... well I'm genuinely surprised. What did I do for you? What made me worth loving?

I guess I'll never know... 

I should end this now, my hands are starting to flicker.

Goodbye everyone. I love you all so much.

Sincerely, Creativity/Princey/Ro/Roman 💕

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's funny is that I wrote this after a really awesome day...


	5. Prompt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a prompt, I've tried writing this but I just can't seem to find any inspiration, so if one y'all write this send me the link or something bros

The sides all agreed (some reluctantly) to dress up as each other to mess with Thomas. Virgil as Logan, Patton as Roman, Roman as Virgil, and (by process of elimination) Logan as Patton. Now since Virgil and Roman bicker a lot, Roman figures this is a good way to get some of his insecurities out without anyone worrying. It starts off as "Virgil" telling "Roman" to stop being so annoying, to keep himself in check, ys know, small things. But eventually, he breaks, and starts screaming at "Roman" letting out /all/ of his insecurities in the form of viscous insults. Patton knows Roman isnt yelling at him, he's yelling at himself (just in case y'all were wondering if Patton would be okay with Roman throwing insults at him. I'm not adding Patton angst calm down - but y'all can if ya want ;) ) after Roman finishes, he freezes as he realized what he did. Thomas (of course) lectures "Virgil" for being so insulting, as the other sides stare at him in disbelief. How could the cocky prince they all know be so viscous towards himself. Halfway through Thomas' lecture Roman breaks, and let's out a broken sob as he sinks out. Leaving the others to wonder what the hell just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I've tried writing this but I can't get myself to do it. And if I do get it started, it always ends up shitty. So ive given up and if y'all wanna write this feel free to write it and comment the link or something.
> 
> (Like seriously, if y'all write this contact me, I wanna read it.)


	6. Not a oneshot. Just the author being lonely.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At this point, I should just make this my random shit book that happens to have oneshots in it..

Okay so... I'm fucking lonely.. and I really wanna roleplay sanders sides.. so if anyone is interested, feel free to comment here.

The only things I ask of you, are

1\. No RemRom (I just don't like the ship.. I'm not hating on anyone, promise)

2\. Plz let me be a smol soft Roman, like I need that content in my life.

Can be a ship rp or just platonic or familial shit idc I just need the soft Princey boy..

Uhm... I think that's it...

Plz comment I'm lonely..


	7. A Soft Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soft Lamp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for all the not oneshot chapters

So far, today was not Roman's day..

He had been up almost all night, trying to get a splitting headache to go away, as well as keep his late night insecurities in check.

Then that morning he was (finally) almost asleep in bed, when Patton came in and shook him awake, pleading excitedly for Roman to make breakfast.

Of course Roman agreed, how could he say no to Patton's puppy dog eyes?

He had only planned on making Patton breakfast, then the others could fend for themselves or something, but of course Virgil and Logan came downstairs as he was almost finished making food.

"Ooh! Roman's making breakfast? What's the special occasion?" Virgil asked, a smile on his face as he quickly kissed Roman's cheek before sitting at the table with Patton.

"I'm assuming Patton woke up early and decided to use the puppy eyes to get you to make breakfast?" Logan asked him, kissing his temple before moving to the coffee machine.

Roman nodded, a silent sigh escaping him as he walked over to the fridge to get enough to feed the other two.

"Yeahh, but Roman seemed okay with it! Right sweetheart?" Patton asked, smiling happily.

Roman, not wanting to seem rude and/or make Patton feel bad, turned and smiled right back,

"Of course! I do enjoy making breakfast. I just wish I could've-" he paused for a split second, almost flawlessly catching himself "-finished my dream" he didn't want any of them to worry about his lack of sleep, but he figured at least one of them would catch his slip up.

"Oh! I'm sorry kiddo!" Patton frowned, "next time I'll let you sleep in!"

"That would be ideal, if someone is woken up too early it could result in changes of mood or increased risk of collapsing" Logan stated, moving to the table with two cups of coffee for him and Virgil, and one cup of hot chocolate for Patton. 

"Yeah Ro, don't go collapsing on us" Virgil teased, giving a nod to Logan as thanks, as Patton smiled and sipped his hot coco.

Or maybe they _ wouldn't _ catch it..

Roman continued cooking, trying to stray his mind from the fact that he was indeed keen on collapsing on the floor right then and there.

Roman finally finished breakfast and gave each side a plate filled with pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon (with crofters and toast for Logan). He felt a swell of accomplishment at the hungry look in the others' eyes.

Logan, after eating his entire plate (rather quickly might I add), stood and walked back to the counter, where Roman was standing.

"Are you not eating?" He asked, sending a concerned glance to Roman before going to the coffee machine.

"Kiddo! You have to eat!" Patton said, worriedly.

"I will Padre, I'm just not hungry right now is all" Roman explained. He noticed Virgil was still eating, giving him occasional worried glances. 

Roman ignored the overwhelming urge to whine and cling to one of his boyfriends, instead he summoned his pad and pencil, trying to distract himself from the emptiness he felt inside.

Suddenly, Logan sat a mug down next to him, causing him to look up at the taller side.

"Some tea, warm and sugary, with a bit of flavored creamer, just how you like." Roman couldn't help but melt a bit at the loving gaze Logan gave him.

"Thanks Lo.." he smiled, taking a sip of the drink before Logan tilted his head up to press a soft kiss to his lips, causing the shorter to have to hold back a whine.

"It's no problem love" Logan muttered against his lips, kissing him one last time before stepping back and pulling his book out.

"Jeez Lo" Virgil muttered, giving the tallest side an amused stare, "didn't know you were capable of being soft~"

Roman blushed and focused on his drink as Patton giggled.

"Roman~" Patton singsonged, walking over to the fanciful side. "You're blushing~!"

Roman felt his face get even hotter, trying to focus on the warm drink he was sipping.

The next thing he knew Patton had his tongue in his mouth, kissing him deeply yet somehow softly. This time around he had a harder time holding back a whine.

Then there were cold hands (his hazy mind briefly registered that those were Virgil's hand) gently taking the warm cup from him, before those same hands moved him a bit away from the counter, pressing against his back as kisses littered across his neck.

Again, he held his whines back.

When Patton pulled away, he giggled and grinned at Virgil, 

"He tastes like caramel~" Roman flushed even worse, still trying not to give in.

"Mm? Lemme taste~" Virgil muttered, before gently pulling Roman's head back and kissing him, just as deep, but not quite as gentle as Patton did.

"Could we please refrain from using Roman as a play thing this early in the morning?" Logan asked, seemingly indifferent. Patton giggled again as Roman felt him press kisses into his collarbone.

This time, he couldn't stop it.

He whined into the kiss, rather loudly. Both Virgil and Patton pulled away, resulting in another small whine from the shortest side.

"Roman..?" Logan asked, walking over to the three of his boyfriends,

"I'm so sorry Sweetie! Was that too much?" Patton asked, seemingly panicked.

Roman shook his head, of course that wasn't too much! That was exactly what Roman was craving, he just needed more..

"baby.. are you okay?" Virgil asked, concern laced in his tone.

Roman couldn't bring himself to talk, so he just hunched his shoulders and tried his best to cuddle closer to the others.

Patton seemed to understand, as he put his arms where Virgil's once was, and pulled the prince in, holding him securely against his chest. Roman nuzzled into the crook of Patton's neck, clinging to the fatherly side's shirt.

The other two then followed Patton's example, Virgil moving to wrap his own arms around Roman as he pressed against him, and Logan pulling the three of them as close as possible, while also running his fingers through Roman's hair, just the way he liked.

Finally, Roman was content. And he felt _ exhausted _. So it was no surprise to him, that his legs gave out and had him leaning completely on the other three.

Virgil and Patton seemed to stumble a bit, trying to keep Roman up, but with Logan on the side he helped keep the three upright.

"I guess he did collapse on us.." Virgil snickered, pressing a kiss to the top of Roman's head.

**-and then it ends because I can't write endings for shit-**


	8. Hi guys! (Author)

Okay, so I came up with an entire Sanders sides AU and I'm gonna post another book with stuff for that.

It's a gem au, so basically a steven universe au.

Also I apologize for not posting in forever. I can't bring myself to write a detailed story (or one-shot) the only thing i can do is small things, like notes. I am trying to get some things done, I just haven’t been able to sit down and try to write another oneshot, or answer all the dares/ask on my other book, without feeling like it’s a chore.

So yeah, gimme a bit and the book for the au will be posted.

Love y'all <3

Edit: I just posted it :DDD

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS MY FIRST BOOK GIVE ME THAT SWEET SWEET VALIDATION!! 
> 
> (Hey btw I take requests-)


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